Torment Agony and Ichigo's Foot
by cg2006
Summary: Kurosaki Ichigo was bored as hell as most teens felt when they had everything to do, and Rukia learns the horror of getting acquainted with a teenage boy's feet. Not intended to be IchiRuki but could be. oneshot.


Okay this one is really just kind of...really stupid. Because i wrote it when I was just as bored as Ichigo, although I really DON"T have anything to do. It's summer. My school's out...well i kind of got out of school early to leave the country, but i stil had to take some math work with me but i finished that last week when our school was over anyway so uh. onward with the story?

Ichigo was bored as hell as most teens felt when they had everything to do. But he settled for picking on the little midget sitting beside his bed...

--

x Torment Agony and Ichigo's Foot x

kKIKk

Kurosaki Ichigo sighed and stared at the flawless and grey cloudy skies. He was bored as hell, as most teenagers felt when they had loads to do but didn't feel like accomplishing anything. He had two pages of math homework on a completely new subject that he missed out on because he had to excuse himself to take care of a couple of Hollows. He had to write a report that was at least two pages on the American Civil War, even though he really didn't give a rat's donkey about it and didn't see why they had to learn about it because it had nothing to do with Japan. He loathed writing, but if he had to write something he'd rather write about the war between the Shinigami and the Arrancar, since he was a part of it. For art class he was required to take a sketchbook home and sketch his family members, but he wasn't going to bother doing that because one, Kurosaki Isshin probably couldn't sit still enough for his son to draw him and would end up pouncing on him before the pencil touched the paper, for it was a splendid chance for father-son bonding. And two, he would only secretly admit to himself--he'd never admit it to anyone else, even if threatened to be thrown into a deep pit with the eleventh squad's captain and lieutenant. He'd rather fight Zaraki Kenpachi to the death and fight him again forever as a soul and put up with the creepy little pink haired horror known as Kusajishi Yachiru than admit that...he drew worse than Kuchiki Rukia. Yes, the tough guy substitute shinigami who relentlessly taunted and teased Rukia about her drawings did not possess any better artistic skills. Anyway, completing art homework was out of the question. No one does art homework anyway, except the goody two shoes, which Ichigo most certainly was not.

Oh, then there was science homework...but that was being taken care of by his roommate Rukia right now.

"You should be grateful for me doing your homework," she huffed from her spot on the floor. She was leaning against the bed.

"I don't have to be," said Ichigo lazily. "You're doing it on your own will." Not exactly...

"You-you!!" Rukia turned and pointed at Ichigo's face. "You said you'd fix my phone if I did it for you, and that phone is very important, so of course it HAS to get fixed! And speaking of my phone and getting fixed, why is it just sitting there on the desk not getting fixed?!"

"I'll fix it when you finish my homework," the orange haired boy compromised. Part of him wondered if he was being a cheat, because he kind of was. Truth was, Rukia's phone wasn't really broken, it was just sabotaged. Well, not really sabatoged. Ichigo just decided to put a lock on the cell phone the other night because he had nothing better to do, but Rukia, as inexperienced as she was with modern technology, thought it was malfunctioning and freaked out. THen Ichigo just took advantage of the situation and offered his service if she could offer hers in doing homework for him. And of course, Rukia had to comply.

So since Rukia's phone was locked for the meantime, they had no absolute means of knowing if there were Hollows about Karakura town. Of course Rukia could sense them, and so coudl Ichigo, sort of, but it didn't really matter since oddly everything seemed quiet and rather peaceful during the sub-shinigami's time of boredom.

"The one time Hollows decide to not pop into town," he sighed, closing his eyes.

"You should take advantage of that and do your homework," Rukia suggested.

"Nah," replied Ichigo. "You're doing just fine. Keep it up, midget."

"Strawberry," she mumbled.

"Say something, Kuchiki?" asked Ichigo.

"Nope!"

"Good. I'm gonna take a nap. If you're done by the time I wake up then I'll fix that phone of yours..."

"You do that," the shinigami in a gigai grumbled.

The boy halted all thoughts and let his consciousness waver. There was a sharp SNAP sound that cut through the following silence, but he didn't feel like taking the effort to use his brain to comprehend it's source. His hand felt heavy and he let it hang over the side of the bed, forgetting there was another being down there beside him. Suddenly, not of his own accord, his hand was gently placed back on the bed, and his mind woke up again. He opened his eyes and peered through slits, and the corners of his lips tugged upwards.

kKRKk

"'Label the anatomy diagrams of the male and female flower,'" Rukia read off the directions quietly to herself. _Who needs to know the parts of a flower? _she grumbled. _I'm a shinigami, not a botanist! And who knew there were male and female flowers? Who CARES? This is ridiculous!_

She sat there, seething, when suddenly there was a snap. Rukia relaxed her palm and saw she'd accidentally snapped the pencil in half in her moment of frustration. She sighed and took out a new mechanical pencil from the pencil box she'd placed conveniently beside her and clicked furiously until a few millimeters of lead protruded from the plastic tip. Rukia sighed. She put the pencil under her nose and pouted her lips, fiddling with it. Suddenly she felt a light touch on the top of her head and nearly jumped out of her gigai when she realized it was just Ichigo's hand. She removed it from her head and put it back on the mattress.

Rukia returned her attention to the packet. _That's a stem, that's a leaf, and those are petals. What more is there to know?_ Sighing again, she rammed the back of her head against Ichigo's bed, over and over and over. _Homework is depressing..._ She doodled bunnies and bears on the blank spaces of the worksheet. _Maybe Nii-sama knows all about the parts of a flower, with having Senbonzakura for a zanpakutou. No...Senbonzakura only uses sakura petals. See, usually what anyone cares about are petals. Who needs to know the reproductive parts of a flower?!_

"ACK!" she yelped. It was just Ichigo's hand again. Again, without a word, she put his hand back on the bed.

_Stupid Ichigo. Making me do his homework. He _knows _it has to be fixed as soon as possible, and he took advantage! Stupid Ichigo!!_

SNAP!

"Not again," Rukia groaned. She reached for yet another new, whole, pencil. _This is painful...this is torture... _"Waaah," she moaned and slumped forward, burying her head in her arms. She sniffled. _This isn't fair...No. I've got to quit whining and griping. I can do this! I am Kuchiki Rukia! A Kuchiki! An officer of the twelfth division! A proud, active fan of Chappy!_

A soft rustle came from behind her, but she ignored it in her time of excitement.

"I CAN DO THIS!" she sat up, pumping a determined fist in the air. Then out of the corner of her peripheral vision, she saw something...and screamed bloody murder. "ICHIGO GET YOUR BIG SMELLY FOOT OUT OF MY FACE!!"

But there was no response. Ichigo's big smelly foot remained there.

_Oh right, he's asleep, _Rukia reminded herself. How was it supposed to move then? There was only one way: Kuchiki Rukia would have to touch it.

She shuddered and put on her Chappy mask and grabbed a pair of tongs that were three feet long. Then she stood three feet away from Ichigo's foot and held her breath as she tried to push it back onto the bed away from where she was sitting. But for some reason the tongs were made of cast iron, which is really heavy, and since they were also three feet long, that added to the weight and made it difficult to hold up. So Rukia could not somewhat comfortably stand three feet away from Ichigo. She had to stand closer. So, trying not to burst into tears, she inched closer so that she was two feet away from Ichigo. It was a little easier to hold, though still a little heavy, but she would not go any closer. Rukia used the tongs to nudge his foot back onto the bed, and when the mission was accomplished she hurriedly rushed downstairs and threw them into a boiling pot that Yuzu had been supervising because she had been planning to make pasta for dinner. Yuzu blinked and stared into the pot.

"Those touched Ichigo's foot!" Rukia informed her.

Yuzu promptly retreated and went to get another pot to cook pasta in.

Rukia went back to Ichigo's room and was relieved to see that Ichigo's foot had not fallen off the edge of the bed again, so she sat back down and continued to stare at the still-blank flower diagram. Tapping furiously on the paper, Rukia's thoughts wandered. Kon was at Urahara's again. It had been pretty quiet, with no talking stuffed lion wailing "NEEEEEEE-SAAAAAAN!!" and flinging itself at Rukia's chest only to be stomped down to the ground. She'd done that a few times too often, and Kon's stuffing got messed up. She would have taken him to Ishida, but the Quincy apologized and told her he was busy with studying for the upcoming tests they were to have in school to make repairs. So Rukia had no choice but to send him off to Urahara's. Besides, she had a suspicion that Kon had a thing for Ririn, one of the three Mod Souls staying with the shopkeeper, no matter how much the stuffed lion protested.

Then, to interupt her thoughts, it happened again.

"AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHH!!" she screeched when Ichigo's foot dangled by her head again. She started to move the opposite direction but to her utter, most EXTREME horror, Ichigo's OTHER foot dropped down too.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Rukia's scream of terror shook his window, papers and pencil flew up in the air, and she Flash Stepped out of the room and into the arms of a very confused and stunned Karin who just happened to be walking by.

kKIKk

Rukia let out a long, ear-splitting shriek and fled the room, tossing Ichigo's homework into the air. The substitute shinigami sat up and caught one of the papers fluttering down. Looking at it, he rolled his eyes when he saw all she'd done was draw Chappy on the margins.

--

And that's the end! Yeah, see this was kind of stupid, but um. oh well. I know I missed a lot of commas. i'm feeling really lazy though so screw the commas... shame on me.

Ichigo's feet probably aren't that bad, but anyway, who wants a teenage boy's foot in their face anyway? lol. I don't know, I don't have an older brother and none of my guy friends have ever attempted to stick their foot in my face. ...but I dearly hope I will never get acquainted with a boy's foot. or else i will somehow get myself into the shinigami academy and i will learn and master shunpo. or whatever its called. i was pretty sure it was shunpo. is it?

I'm not a fan of flip flops...


End file.
